'I am so grateful that the cat has chosen us but I am also aware that this is somebody's pet': 12-year-old cat chooses new pawrents and leaves them wondering who really has catstody

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jul 4, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

This tail begins with a surprise: a mysterious, collar-less kitty who plopped herself on the doorstep of a WFH human and strutted inside like she owned the place (classic cattitude). Despite no sign of her pawrents, she kept returning, for head boops, snacks, and snoozes, until she eventually showed up wearing a collar and ID tag, revealing she did have a home!

Her actual hooman was pawsitively lovely, explaining that the 12-year-old was full of love and welcome to visit as long as she wasn't causing any hissteria. But this senior meowdel had other plans. She refused to leave, yowled at the door when turned out, and even camped out in a thunderstorm waiting to be let back in. The humans caved (who wouldn't?) and gave her food, a litter box, and a spot on the couch.

Now they're caught in a feline frenzy of feelings. They're grateful to be chosen, but unsure if they've pawssed any unspoken cat etiquette. Is it normal? Is it okay? One thing's fur sure: this clever kitty has found her second home and she's not kitten around about it.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10525559296
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  • 02
    A few weeks ago, I saw a cat sitting at my doorstep for a while while I was WFH and opened the door to give her a few pets in between my meetings. She didn't have a collar on but she seemed super friendly (which made me think she wasn't a stray) and waltzed right inside my house which I didn't mind.
    via coconutvanilla
  • 03
    After a few pets and cuddles, I carried her back outside and then I saw her the next day, and the next and the next! I searched lost pet sites, community boards but couldn't find anything about this cat and after a few days of being concerned about whether this cat had a home or not, I gave her some food and let her sleep inside the house and would carry her outside when I went to work.
    via coconutvanilla
  • 04
    This went on for a week or so and when I finally got a carrier so that I could check whether this baby had a chip or not, one day she showed up with a collar on with her name and her parents contact number!
    via coconutvanilla
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    Cheezburger Image 10525559040
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  • 06
    I texted them saying that I did feed the little lady and gave her shelter for the last couple days without knowing for sure if she was a stray or not, shes been lingering around mine and if they would want us to discourage her from coming inside, we're happy to accomodate.
    via coconutvanilla
  • 07
    The owner was the sweetest thing and let us know that the cat is 12 and has a lot of love to give and that shes happy with her hanging around as long as shes not a bother to us which she isn't at all. I let her know where I live and that we'll stop feeding her now that we know that she belongs to someone.
    via coconutvanilla
  • 08
    Now I'm not sure if this is normal or not but the cat has gotten REALLY comfortable in this house and does not want to go outside at all. It has been like this from day 1. My partner and I have tried to ignore the meows at the door when we forcefully let her out so that she can do her business and eat at her real home but it's so
    via coconutvanilla
  • 09
    pitiful and she's wailing outside for so long (it's winter here) that we eventually give in and let her inside again. When she hasn't left for a long period of time, we feed her dinner and let her out again in the morning but I guess she hasn't been going home because the owner texted me asking if she's
    via coconutvanilla
  • 10
    been at my house and we'd mind feeding her if she is, she offered to give us her food and bowl but I said we still have food left from when we initially fed her as a stray.
    via coconutvanilla
  • 11
    I know the owner is aware and everything and I want to emphasise that I know this is not my cat and I would never trap this cat!! But the little baby is 12 years old and loves it here and I cannot stand the way she just waits and meows at the door when I kick her out, it makes my heart hurt. Just
    via coconutvanilla
  • 12
    yesterday, I let her outside of my house while I was out for dinner, it was a thunderstorm and I come back home to see her huddled in front of my door step and I had to check in with her owner to see if she went back home at all! The owner wasn't sure because she had company over so asked if I could feed her again which was fine but ahh!!
    via coconutvanilla
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    Cheezburger Image 10525558784
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  • 14
    I'm just having mixed feelings because I am so grateful that the cat has chosen us but I am also aware that this is somebodys pet who is loved very very much and is taking shelter at someone else's house and doesn't want to leave
    via coconutvanilla
  • 15
    I guess I just want confirmation on what's ok and what's not? I have never owned cats in my life so I don't know if this is normal behaviour for a cat and I also don't know if there's any unspoken rules about cats that I don't know and that I've crossed some boundaries and the owner just assumes I
    via coconutvanilla
  • 16
    know!? We even got her a litter box because she's here so often and we want to accomodate her when she's here so she's not holding in her bladder. This kitty makes me happy and I want to make her as happy as possible too, within reason! Any insight would be appreciated please :)
    via coconutvanilla
  • 17
    MissyGrayGray Ask the neighbor if the cat usually stays inside at their house or is she made to stay out or usually prefers to stay outside as she pretty much likes to stay inside your house.
    via MissyGrayGray
  • 18
    It could be that they have another cat or they have a dog/puppy and the cat isn't happy inside their home so she stays outside but would prefer to stay inside. I'm glad you're good with her coming over.
    via MissyGrayGray
  • 19
    DisastrousCap1431 I think as long as you keep communication open with the owner, you're fine. Do you know where they live? Maybe you could bring the cat to her 1st home instead of setting her outside so she's more likely to go inside their place instead of sitting outside yours.
    via DisastrousCap1431

  • Communication is always key! If everyone’s on the same page, maybe she can learn to split her time and go back and forth like the fancy little neighborhood queen she clearly thinks she is. 

  • 20
    cheetach My neighbor's cat used to come over every evening for dinner and eventually made friends with my cats. When they were moving out of the country we talked it over and he is now my cat.
    via cheetach

  • Sounds like the cat adopted you just as much as you adopted her. Looks like joint cat custody is the purrfect arrangement for this little furball and her two loving homes!

  • 21
    DisMrButters Very normal behavior when cats are allowed to roam. They go where they want to! Sometimes they will have more than one home, sometimes they just decide to move into somewhere they like better.
    via DisMrButters
  • 22
    If the neighbor is ok with it and you are ok with it, then I don't see what the problem is. Kitty likes you and enjoys your place. Kitty is 12 and wants to chill with you. I wouldn't worry about it unless the neighbor asks you to do something different. Considering she has offered you food for the kitty, seems. to me all is well. If kitty wants out, you will know.
    via DisMrButters

  • Her pawrent knows she’s hanging out at your place and seems totally chill about it, so we wouldn’t stress. Sounds like this kitty just picked her favorite vacation home!

  • 23
    alleyallezallez Text the owner- ask them to come get their baby. Cats are fond of routine and like it or not, you're unintentionally establishing a new one. If they come right back the next day it might be wise to have the owners keep kitty indoors for a reset.
    via alleyallezallez
  • 24
    I wonder what the environment is like at the owner's house? Loud? Dogs? Little kids? Elderly cats generally want peace and quiet. Ps- you sound like a wonderful person. Thanks for caring about kitty's wellbeing.
    via alleyallezallez
  • 25
    Big_Split_3183 The cat chose you for a reason. The owner wants to give you the cat's food. If you are willing to, I would talk with the owner and say you are willing to take the cat.
    via Big_Split_3183

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neighbors foster advice feline Cats stray hoomans pawrents
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